Quit the Mental Tug-of-War: Make Better Decisions in Less Time

Quit the Mental Tug of War: Make Better Decisions in Less Time







The Trap of Endless Thinking

You know that feeling when you’re staring at the same pros and cons list for the third time, and somehow it’s longer now than when you started? Meanwhile, the thing you were deciding about whether it’s a flight deal, a business pitch, or even just which couch to buy has already slipped away.
We do this to ourselves constantly. We treat every choice like it’s a life or death verdict when, in reality, most aren’t. The funny part? A lot of those choices can be changed, undone, or tweaked later without the world collapsing. Yet we still agonize.
The statistic I’ve seen thrown around is that roughly 95% of decisions are reversible. Whether that’s exact or not, the principle holds. The real problem isn’t bad decision making it’s decision stalling. And the cost isn’t just time; it’s the mental energy you burn staying in limbo.

One Way Doors vs. Two Way Doors

Jeff Bezos popularized this metaphor, but it’s useful no matter how you feel about Amazon.

  • One way doors are decisions you can’t walk back easily. Once you sign a 10 year lease, marry someone, or sink $100,000 into custom equipment, there’s no “oops, never mind” without a lot of pain. These deserve slower, more deliberate thought.

  • Two way doors are the opposite. You can open them, look around, and if you don’t like it, step back out. Examples? Testing a new social media strategy, trying a different morning routine, or switching the software you use for invoices. Low stakes, easily reversible.
    The catch is, most of us treat two way doors as if they’re one way. That’s where decision fatigue starts chewing at you.

The Common Traps We Fall Into




Even once you understand the one way/two way distinction, your brain still has ways of sabotaging you:

1. Inflating the stakes.
You think picking a restaurant for dinner is a referendum on your taste and judgment. It’s not. Worst case, you waste an evening on mediocre pasta.

2. Obsessing over trivia.
I’ve seen entire marketing meetings grind to a halt over whether a button should be blue or teal. Spoiler: the audience usually doesn’t care. Save that brainpower for bigger problems.

3. Mistaking “perfect” for “necessary.”
Waiting until you have all the facts is like waiting until you’re in perfect shape before starting to exercise you’ll just never start.

A Couple of Handy Frameworks

Two mental shortcuts I like for decision making:

The Two Way Door Rule.
Already covered above if it’s reversible, do it quickly. Adjust later if needed.

The Hats, Haircuts, and Tattoos Analogy.

  • Hats: Try them on, take them off low cost, no stress.

  • Haircuts: A bit more commitment. They’ll grow out, but you’ll live with it for a while.

  • Tattoos: Permanent (or close enough). Take your time.
    This silly sounding analogy is surprisingly sticky, and it keeps me from burning hours on “hat” decisions.

The 70% Rule (Or, Why Waiting for Certainty Is a Trap)




If you have about 70% of the information you think you need, that’s usually enough to move. You’ll never get to 100% without turning your life into an endless research project.
Let’s say you’re thinking about adding a new product to your store. By the time you’ve surveyed 20 people, run small ads, and seen even a hint of traction you’ve hit that 70%. Launch it. The rest you’ll learn by doing.

Breaking Down the Big, Scary Choices

Big, irreversible decisions your one way doors can be broken into smaller, less scary steps.
Instead of signing a long term distribution deal with a new supplier, start with a 3 month contract. Before opening a physical shop, run a pop up stall at the local market. It’s the same principle as “measure twice, cut once,” but with room to bail if you mis measured.

Why Speed Matters More Than We Think

Here’s the thing: slow decisions aren’t inherently better decisions. They just feel safer because you’ve marinated in them longer.
But think about a start up founder who launches a half baked feature, gets feedback within days, and improves it within weeks versus the competitor who’s still in “final testing” mode six months later. Guess who wins the market?

Feedback Is Your Friend

Quick decisions feed you real world data. That’s gold. If a new pricing model flops, you find out fast and fix it. If it works, you double down. Either way, you’re not stuck wondering in theoretical land.
The people who get better at decision making aren’t necessarily born decisive they just make enough choices, fast enough, to keep learning.

The Mindset Shift That Makes It Stick

If you only take one thing from this: stop treating every choice like it’s tattoo level permanent. Even many of your “one way doors” have escape hatches, they’re just expensive or inconvenient. Once you realize that, the fear loosens its grip.
And yes, some people push this too far impulsiveness can be its own trap. But most of us lean the other way: overthinking until the door’s already shut.

Quick Recap

  • Figure out if it’s a one way or two way door.

  • Don’t waste days on hat level choices.

  • Use the 70% rule.

  • Break big commitments into smaller, reversible tests.

  • Move fast enough to collect feedback and adjust.

If you can live with the idea that a lot of your decisions are, in fact, experiments and that the cost of being wrong is usually lower than you think you’ll find yourself moving through life with a lot less friction. And honestly, it’s kind of addictive.


Open Your Mind !!!

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