Why Money and Power Affect Male Self-Esteem: A Deep Look into Modern Masculinity and Mental Health

In today’s fast-changing world, traditional gender roles are evolving. One of the most sensitive areas of this transformation is the connection between money, power, and male self-esteem. For many men, what they earn and their financial role in the household isn’t just about income—it’s about identity, pride, and purpose. But as more women become primary earners, many men are facing emotional struggles they weren’t prepared for.

This article explores how income differences between men and women in relationships impact male self-worth, mental health, and the dynamics within families. We’ll also look at how societal expectations are evolving, and what we can do to support healthier perspectives for men navigating this new reality.

The Pressure to Provide: A Deep-Rooted Expectation

For generations, society has expected men to be the "providers." From movies to marketing, from the workplace to dinner tables, the message has been consistent: a "real man" earns and supports his family financially.

This belief still lingers. In relationships where women are the primary earners, some men report feeling judged or inadequate. A study interviewing men whose wives or partners earned more revealed feelings of shame, embarrassment, and even ridicule from friends and family.

Dave, a stay-at-home dad, said, “It stings your pride a little bit that your wife's the one out making all the money.” Another man, Tom, expressed frustration: “I'm a guy's guy... you tell them you stay home, and they think you're some feminine dude.” One man, Brendon, even shared that his family called him “the house bitch.”

These are not isolated stories. Many men feel their masculinity is questioned when they are not the breadwinners. And unfortunately, these emotional pressures can lead to serious mental health consequences.

When Women Earn More: How It Affects Mental Wellbeing

Studies have shown that men whose partners earn more are at higher risk of depression. One long-term study in Sweden tracked income levels and mental health over ten years. The findings were clear: when wives began earning more than their husbands, there was a noticeable spike in mental health issues—especially among men.

Men in these situations showed up to an 11% increase in mental health diagnoses. Women in similar roles also experienced challenges, but the emotional toll on men was significantly higher.

Why? Because for many men, their sense of value is deeply tied to their ability to provide financially. When that role shifts, their identity can feel threatened.

The Masculinity Crisis: Job Loss, Identity, and Mental Struggles

The emotional impact of not being the primary earner is even more pronounced when men lose their jobs unexpectedly. In these cases, the transition from provider to dependent is not planned—it’s forced.

Harry Bunton, a former consultant turned content creator in Australia, shared his emotional journey after losing his job. “It makes sense to me why there's such a high rate of depression,” he wrote. “It can really challenge your ideas of what it means to be a man.”

Yet, Bunton’s story also shows that change, while painful, can also be empowering. By sharing his experience, he helped others realize that their worth isn’t tied solely to income or job titles.

Gender Roles at Home: Still Stuck in the Past

Even as more women enter the workforce and out-earn their partners, expectations at home often stay the same. Studies show that even in households where women earn more, they still do more housework and childcare than men.

Stay-at-home dads usually take on more childcare, but the division of chores remains roughly equal. In other words, women continue to carry a heavier load overall—even when they are the main earners.

This imbalance highlights how slow society has been in adjusting to new economic realities. Men may feel uncomfortable staying home, and women may feel overburdened by doing it all—earning, cooking, cleaning, and parenting.

Financial Stress and the Gender Pay Gap

It’s important to point out that not all female breadwinners are making big money. In many cases, a woman becomes the primary earner because her partner lost his job. In these situations, households often earn less overall, due to the ongoing gender pay gap.

A study from Bath University found that households with female breadwinners tend to have lower overall income. The researchers called this the “female breadwinner penalty” and argued that most countries are not doing enough through their welfare systems to address this.

This added financial stress puts even more pressure on relationships and increases the emotional burden on both partners—especially men, who may already feel like they’re failing to fulfill their role as providers.

Infidelity and Masculine Identity

Another disturbing trend is that men whose wives earn more are more likely to cheat. Researchers believe this may be a subconscious way for men to "reclaim" their masculinity after feeling it’s been threatened by their partner’s financial success.

While not all men react this way, it points to a deeper issue: how tightly masculinity is tied to power, control, and status in our culture. When that power dynamic shifts, it can lead to destructive behaviors unless addressed openly and healthily.

The Power of Paternity Leave and Involved Fatherhood

Despite the challenges, there are also positive shifts happening. In countries like Sweden, where men are encouraged to take paternity leave, fathers are becoming more involved in their children’s lives—and family wellbeing is improving.

When dads spend more time with their kids, family bonds grow stronger, and children benefit from seeing a more balanced model of parenting. In turn, this helps normalize the idea that men can nurture, support, and take care of the home—without it threatening their masculinity.

In fact, men who take paternity leave report higher satisfaction in their roles as fathers and partners. Over time, these changes can lead to greater gender equality and less stigma around male vulnerability.

Young Men and Gender Equality: A Divided Generation

Interestingly, younger generations are showing mixed feelings about these changes. A global survey found that Gen Z men are more likely than any other group to believe that stay-at-home dads are “less of a man.” Nearly 30% of Gen Z men agreed with that statement—compared to just 19% of Gen Z women.

This shows that while progress has been made, there’s still resistance—especially from young men who may feel threatened by shifts in power and roles. Many of them also believe that men are now being asked to "do too much" to support equality.

Experts suggest this may be because young women are now more likely to graduate from university and earn more in their early careers. These shifts in education and employment are changing the balance of power, and not everyone is comfortable with that.

What Needs to Change: Supporting Men in New Roles

To help men adapt to a world where financial roles are changing, we need to challenge the outdated idea that masculinity equals money and power. Society must:

Promote emotional openness among men, especially around job loss and financial stress.
Normalize stay-at-home dads and shared parenting roles.
Create workplace policies that encourage paternity leave and flexible schedules.
Address the gender pay gap so that female breadwinners don’t face economic disadvantages.
Provide mental health resources specifically for men struggling with identity issues tied to work and income.

Final Thoughts: Redefining What It Means to Be a Man

Money and power will always influence how we see ourselves and others. But in a modern, evolving society, it’s time to redefine what it means to be a man.

Being a great partner, father, and human being is not about your paycheck. It’s about love, presence, effort, and respect. As more men step into new roles, we must support them in rewriting the story of masculinity—not one rooted in outdated traditions, but in equality, empathy, and strength through vulnerability.

Open Your Mind !!!

Source: BBC

Open Your Mind